Letter to Za

Dear za,

Whenever you read this, I hope you're in good condition, happy and healthy

I don't know why I write this

Maybe I'm coward enough to say that I miss you

I know I know that I'm the one who want to leave you

I'm the one who break us up

But, can't lie that I miss you

It's been a month when I start to being awk

I don't recognize myself anymore

And you'd being affected by that

I'm still sorry for that

This relationship is hard for me

I mean, I don't like the distance and the wall between us

When I'm with you, I feel safe

But when you away, I lost myself

Not your fault btw

I understand the situation

Just myself being annoying

maybe being with you sometimes feels annoying

But when I'm not with you, it's much more annoying

I don't know your situation when you read this

I don't even know if you can read this

I mean, it will be impossible I guess

After what happened between us

You start to forget me and remove all of our memories

I don't mind, bcs that's what I always told you

To move on with someone new

Sorry because I still dare to miss you

I don't know which face I will use to say this

That's why I write this, than text you personally

Because I'm a coward

After all, you don't seem like you want to be contacted as a friend, do you?

Because making friends will only make you hurt

While I still hope that we can still communicate like before

Who knows maybe I'll fall in love again

Or it might get worse

I can't blame yourself

Because all the sources of problems are in me

Maybe this is my last post about you

For your information, actually there are many things I wrote about you

Yeah, maybe because you're special

You still have your place in me

I don't know what will happen in the future

You always say that if we can't be together in this world, you still want to be together in heaven, right?

Do you still want that?

But more than that, I hope you still remember me even I'm the one who want you to forget me

Last but not least,

You did great

You've succeed to make me fall in love since we first met

You've succeed to fight the world to meet me

You've succeed to be a good man for me

I'm the only one who's not grateful to have you

I'm the one who always looks at your flaw 

You did great, byy❤️

I miss you, byy💕

-La-

April 23rd 2022